after I was told that I’m gonna be responsible for the well being of so many people, I guess I haven’t been feeling so well myself. Sadly, when I refused to take the duty, I was told not to be so selfish.

I guess I have no choice then. Jocasta lied. Life isn’t about making choices.

You see, I’m not the kind of person who will go loco over make up products since the raw material is decent enough. *cough* (Okay, I can hear some vomitting), plus I think the cleaning up process is troublesome. I started putting them on after my mum got me a set from estee lauder as a wedding gift. My daily make up ritual usually consists of vitamin water, moisturizer, foundation, loose powder, eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. I seriously can’t be bothered with those HD primers and other things. But I admit that I have too many liquid eyeliner because I always thought that I lost them so I go and buy a new one then found the old one.

Anyway, I am extremely sad because I can’t get the pressed powder anymore. The thing I like about this product is that it’s a loose powder being pressed so it’s easier to carry. I know I can just carry compact powder for touch up but I had my heart set on this one combined with big powder brush. Maximum coverage FTW. Plus it’s cheap. I don’t remember how much exactly but I guess it was less than 200K.

Well, I have to go to Sogo later to exchange it with other products. The thing is, Kiehl’s and Estee Lauder counters are there. With this skincare chats I’ve been having, I think it will be wise to leave my purse in the office. Agree? Smiw?

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

The problems will still be there when I go to work tomorrow. Although I’m not aure whether I’d be healthy enough to go to work. I had my first ER moment on Thursday night and the doctor suspected that it was dengue. I’ve been resting at home for these past four days. My temperature was normal since yesterday but suddenly I got a really bad flu and cough. Maybe I’ll see a doctor tomorrow.

Anyway, 2012 please be gentle.

Okay, maybe I had one super bad year. But as the year closing, it’s becoming worse and worse. These days, I don’t even give a damn about whether my insurance will cover suicides or not. Honestly, spending a good one hour planning my suicide scenes is the only comfort and peace my mind can have.

Well, let’s see. The thing I messed up at work doesn’t seem to have any solution now or near the future. And it affects a lot of people. Every time I arrive at the office my stomach acid would flow like there’s no tomorrow. That’s why I’ve been consuming polysilane as breath mints.

And working in family business means any shit you face at work, follows you home. Since every thing I touch usually turns into shit. Maybe it’s suitable to use the phrase ‘in deep shit’.

You know, I could live this life of making mistakes and making amends. The thing I can’t stand anymore is to (re)realize (for the friggin zillionth time) is that I’m the mistake in the life of the people I care about. I feel like the wrong daughter, the wrong sister, the wrong employee, the wrong wife, and I don’t wanna be the wrong mother for my future kids.

I seriously don’t think I’ll make any differences being alive or dead. Why should I keep putting every one in misery. Maybe one blow and no more is better for them.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been this tired. Plus this fever and the fact that I can’t go to tomorrow’s gathering had pushed me to my limit. I hit the bottom once again. And I have nothing to look forward to anymore.

It’s lonely down here.