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It’s tough, finding out that you are the dysfunctional one in every relationship you have. I’ve realized for so long that any relationship involving feelings is tedious, but some of them cannot be avoided and I don’t think that I’m equipped with the capability to deal with it. I just wanted to alienate everybody and have a quiet time of my own. So, I went to the movie alone yesterday during lunch time. For a peaceful 90 minutes in a dark room, where no one knew me, where no one could see my face, where I was just someone who sat on B7, laughing at unfunny scenes.

Like they always say, it was good while it lasted. The screaming I had to endure for me being MIA wasn’t worth it. If I couldn’t be myself for 90 minutes of my entire day, week, month or year, does that mean I’m gonna lose myself soon?

I’m just gonna be the disappointing daughter, the self centered wife, the childish sister, the ignorant boss, the irresponsible employee, the obnoxious friend and so on.

I thought all this emo phase will end when I graduated from college. It doesn’t. It just gives me more threads of relationship. They got me tangled and I’m pretty much lost.

I don’t know what I thought I knew anymore.

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7 Comments

  1. I know that u could use some hugs.. Although virtual ones.
    From me, sincerely :) *hugs*

  2. *peluk*

  3. @smiw and @nadz berpelukannn :”)

  4. *hugs* you’ll get pass through this
    and you’re talking nonsense, cause you’re a cared daughter and sister, a loving wife, a hardworker (even security take shifts, but you’re the flexible one) and definitely a good friend!!
    and if those who see you otherwise, heck with them, they don’t really know you :)

    cheer up, chin up ^^

    • yuvennnnn huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :(((((

  5. Ste aku sedih bacanya :(
    *ikutpelukjuga*

    Ps. I sometimes feel the same way too.

    • *peluk peluk*
      sometimes, I guess we all do :)


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