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Do I still have the guts to call this a blog?

Unlike most people who get their shit together in the beginning of the year. I usually do it on Lunar New Year. I’m not sure whether it has anything to do with me being Chinese. But that’s how I roll. Probably it has something to do with those red envelopes. Because before I got married, I usually got red envelopes from older or married relatives. Maybe my brain tricked myself into believing that this money could buy me a chance to start over. At least I’m not broke, that’s a start.

Even though I no longer enjoy that privilege (and gotta hand out red envelopes instead, being more broke than ever), I am now wired that way. I would usually slack off all the way from Christmas Eve to two weeks before Lunar New Year. Then things would start to get crazy. To-do lists, post-it notes and phone reminders would pop out of nowhere.

Rather unusual, this year, I have ‘Revenge’ written with a red marker in a capital block letter on my agenda.

I am no stranger to betrayals. At one point I used to live and breathe it on daily basis. But this one is different. This one actually makes me so angry instead of feeling hurt. This time, I actually feel like shoving a baseball bat into someone’s ‘shole.

I’m more than pissed. I’m more than mad.

I’m gonna go out there, planning every step carefully. Fueled by the anger. Fueled by every single thing that was wasted on that person.

No amount of red envelopes would be enough to buy your way outta here, sissy.


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