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It has been more than a year since I wrote something here.

What had happened in the span of twelve months?

I got pregnant. Whatever people told you about second pregnancy, forget them. Every pregnancy is different. One thing I can tell you is that you don’t ‘master’ pregnancy. It surely didn’t feel easier the second time. Honestly, it felt harder because I didn’t have the option to just lay around all day on my own because I have the responsibility to keep a toddler alive entertained.

Nine months after , I gave birth to a lovely angel that I named after my favorite character in Supernatural, who is a literal angel. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing this parenting of two right because it’s so hard to keep everyone alive entertained. I don’t know if you know this, but my firstborn is very vocal about things. She has raised concerns about how the baby’s presence making her feel neglected. She even said that she needs the amount of attention she had received pre-baby era.

My father-in-law passed away when C is like 2 week old. We didn’t see it coming at all. Death in family brought out the worst in us. It’s still hard to talk about it.

Elmo, Mon and I flew to Rome on May to attend Jus in Bello. It’s a Supernatural convention, the tv show, not the literal meaning. I’ve never really made a serious bucket list, but if I did, this one tops them all. Before attending the convention, I’ve always thought that meeting your idols once is enough, but after the JIB experience, I’ve found myself missing those guys from time to time. Would really love to attend it again and to explore around Rome since I only spent a weekend there and most of the time, we were in the convention.

Marisa and I launched “27 Days of Heartbreak” illustrated book. Take a sneak peek of our book here We are also selling our book merchandise at Arterous, please check it out. How do I feel about launching a book? I feel like I just give birth to another baby. Seriously, the excitement and nervousness were mixed together as a giant knot of tension in my stomach. It felt really good that our family and friends were there to support us on the launching day. I had this apprehension that no one would show up on the day. You can purchase the book here. If you are interested in having signed copies, I have five copies up for sale. You can leave comment in this post and I’ll get in touch with you.

What’s up with you? Would love to hear from you.


Last week, the guy asked why I don’t write anymore these days. For someone who never actually read anything I have written (years ago), he’s pretty observant. I just told him that words don’t come easily to me anymore right now. They even feel foreign.

Being somewhat annoyed at his question, I told myself to start writing a little something every day. Just one or two lines. No matter how corny they would be. Again, he didn’t know about this.

Yesterday was the 5th day. I was tired. I was out of words. I was uninspired. I decided to give up writing. Just like that.

This morning, he suddenly told me to turn on my laptop and start to write something. It shouldn’t be that hard. It’s only hard because you think it’s hard.. (and another 10 minutes of recycled pep talk.)

So, I started to write this. Is it a beginning or an end? I don’t know yet.

Space Oddity was my first Bowie song. I discovered the lyric when I was browsing the net randomly back when I was in college (about 10 years ago). I didn’t even hear the song but the words captured me instantly. The goosebumps that I had when I finally listened it for the first time is still fresh in my memory.
This song means a lot to me because when I first heard it, I was recovering from a betrayal. I was bitter about everything and I was terribly scared about what life had to offer me. And suddenly this 35 year old song came to me out of nowhere.
Ain’t life always gonna be like that? About having the courage to embrace the unknown? Who would have thought that a Bowie’s song would find me? I didn’t even know who David Bowie was before that night.
I’m still terribly sad. I couldn’t listen to his songs yesterday because I knew they would drive me to tears. So, I listened to it this morning on my way to work. I cried and mourned for him but oddly, the songs also made me smile. They made me remember how I used to sing “Oh You Pretty Things” to Kei when she was a tiny baby. They made me remember how I usually howl “Life on Mars” during shower in a very theatrical way. They made me remember how Kei used to ask for the song with an uncle’s blue floating head album cover (Space Oddity). You know, stuff like that.
And all those feelings. The warm tears on my cheek. The saltiness I tasted on my tongue because I was singing, laughing and crying at the same time.. they made me grateful. They made me feel so lucky that I was alive in the time where David Bowie existed.
I must have done something extremely good in my previous life.
See you around, Starman. Thank you.
(illustration by @PlinaGanucheau)